Transcript
INTRO
Welcome to Preggo Dreams, the storytelling podcast that brings real pregnancy dreams to life. Each episode tells one dream as a short story, complete with immersive sound design, so you can enjoy them too.
I’m your host, Alicia, and in this episode, I’ll tell you the very first dream from my first trimester. A simple housesitting gig got weird quickly, and my mounting anxiety was calmed by an unexpected visitor.
Let’s dive in…
STORY
The scenic drive turned shady as I took my last exit. I was on my way to housesit for the Kardashians, and though I never kept up with them, I was excited to see how they lived. I expected to approach a massive gated property with beautiful landscaping, so when I ended up at a narrow alley beside a rundown apartment building, I thought I had typed the address wrong. I triple-checked, but I was definitely in the right spot. And surely I was being set up.
Because a group of kids was staring at me while I parallel-parked my car. One of them was leaning against the building, arms crossed, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. Another was cleaning his fingernails with a pocket knife. I checked the instructions again, and under the address was a 6-digit code with the message, “Enter through the basement door.”
I could have driven off, but the money was too good to pass up. So I took a chance. I got out of the car, grabbed my bags from the trunk, and walked past the intimidating kids as confidently as I could. They minded their business, though, while I found the door, entered the code, and stepped inside.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. For a basement apartment, it was luxurious. Giant crystal chandeliers hung from 12-foot ceilings, expensive-looking art adorned the walls, and full-sized windows let in the light from outside. Maybe the Kardashians really did own this place. This must be a secret hideout, I thought.
I set down my bags, reached for the coat closet, and paused. What was that sound? There was a faint commotion coming from inside. I strained my ears. Something was scratching repeatedly against the inside of the door, getting faster and more desperate. I wondered whether it was a good idea to investigate or just nope out, but I gathered my courage and opened the door.
Out jumped my cat! What in the world?! Did the Kardashians steal my cat and lock him in the closet?! Before I could fully process what was going on, he bolted across the apartment, crashing into furniture and knocking over expensive vases, which shattered on the floor. I blinked in disbelief. This was definitely coming out of my paycheck. Then my cat disappeared deeper in the apartment. I called out to him, but he didn’t emerge. I promised I would find him and take him home as soon as my gig was finished.
I put most of my bags away, then started getting ready for a night out. Because I apparently forgot that housesitting meant staying at the house. I grabbed my makeup bag and gasped at the disaster waiting before me. My foundation was my winter shade. My lipstick was too intense. My mascara was clumpy. I really should have tossed it last month.
Oh well. I made do with what I had, then went to the bathroom to pee. And as soon as I sat down, I heard loud banging at the door. Someone was trying to break into the apartment!
My stomach dropped and joined my pants around my ankles. I remembered I had forgotten to bolt the front door. The banging grew stronger, and the handle rattled violently. Were the kids from outside coming to get me after all? I ran to the door, pants still down, and slammed the deadbolt shut. The rattling stopped instantly. I stood still for a few minutes while I gathered my bearings, and listened intently for another sound.
That other sound was a gentle, normal knock.
About to pee my pants, I realized I wouldn’t because my pants were still down. I pulled them up, then peered through the peephole. I blinked in confusion. I recognized the man on the other side from a show I was watching.
It was Piper’s brother from Orange Is the New Black.
I unlatched the deadbolt and opened the door to let him in. He walked in, hugged me, and asked how I was doing. Shocked but appreciative of his friendliness, I told him about my crazy day and bombarded him with questions. Was this alley sketchy, or was it just me? Does he know the Kardashians? Why was my cat imprisoned in their closet? Is my makeup looking crazy? Did you see who was trying to break in just a moment ago?
He listened calmly and assured me that everything was fine. Okay, if he said so. Then he offered to help me housesit. I accepted graciously and appreciated the company.
We had just sat down on the plush couch when the doorbell rang. What was it this time??
This time, it was my brother at the door.
By that point, I stopped questioning the events of the day. I didn’t wonder how my brother knew of this place. I let him in, and we gathered in the living room. The guys agreed to hold down the fort for a few hours so I could go out. So I finished getting dressed, only to find one more misfortune.
None of my shoes matched my outfit! All the shoes I brought had warm tones, while my outfit had cool tones. Which was even worse! I have warm undertones, and it didn’t suit me at all!
Exhausted, I accepted my fate and put on the least offensive shoes. And as I headed out the door, passing the group of sketchy kids again, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this had all been some weird dream.
OUTRO
Thanks for tuning in to Preggo Dreams.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, or tell a friend about it.
And if you’ve had a weird or unforgettable pregnancy dream of your own, I’d love to hear it! Submit your dream for a chance to be featured on a future episode. Visit the website at preggodreamspodcast.com to learn more.
Until next time.
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